Daily Dose of Joy

Goodbye my love,

To me, a job is like a relationship. You have to go for it to get it. It may be hard and tricky at first to get used to the new things but eventually you’ll know what to do. You spend an awful lot of time in it. You learn a lot from your experience. The more hours you spend at your job the better the reward will be (unless you get paid salary)… A lot of shit goes on but you still stay to make it work. Sometimes you have bad days, sometimes you have great days. You can’t imagine not having it. So when you start spending less time together, you start to think maybe it’s not working out. What if there are better ones out there that you’ll be able to spend more time in and get more out of…?

So you see, leaving my first real job after being here for 4 and a half years is really taking a toll on me. All the good times and the bad times I’ve had at this place, all the people I’ve met, all the positions I’ve held, have made an impact in my life. Thanks to you I now have experiences and memories to enable me to move on and improve myself. It’s hard to imagine me not working here anymore but I need more. I deserve to be treated better. So alas, it’s time for me to move on. Time to find something better.

We’ve had a great run. Don’t cry because it’s ending. Smile because it happpened.

I am flawed.

I know that I’m not perfect. I know that I make mistakes. And I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But that gives no one any reason to be rubbing it in my face. Mistakes are a part of my life and it’s what makes me who I am. Mistakes were made so that I can learn from them. So that I can grow wiser. So you don’t have to tell me because I am very well aware. In fact you have no right to point out my mistakes because you yourself aren’t perfect. You should never judge people by their past, but by what they’ve learned from them. Never tell me you’ve lost respect for me because I wasn’t looking for respect from you. I was looking for a true friend in you. I was looking for someone who will accept me for who I am no matter what I’ve been through. Not someone who will judge me, talk behind my back, and rat me out to save their ass. People thought you were a fake ditsy bitch and I told them otherwise. But I now realize how much of a mistake it was to not have believed them. So if you’re going to judge me for any mistake I’ve made, judge me for trusting you and mistaking you as my “best friend.” Keep telling people it was my fault because I never tried with you when it’s all I’ve been doing. Don’t blame others for your decisions. If you think deleting me from your life will miraculously change your life, I say sail on. ;) 

sick&&tired…literally

It feels so good to be back to blogging! This is my only way of venting without bitching to my friends and making them hate me… jk I still do it…

Last week I got extremely sick and couldn’t leave my bed for over 32 hours. Luckily I have an awesome bf who came by with Tim Hortons chicken noodle soup for me and coffee and donuts for my parents. Unfortunately for him my parents are Asian and my mom basically rejected him at the door. He said he was just dropping it off anyways but she told him to take the coffee back because it was too late to drink coffee and she’s diabetic so she can’t eat the donuts. The next day he came back and took me out for brunch and took me to the clinic and back home. I invited him over but I think he’s afraid to ever come back to my house again.

Anyways, I got a call from the walk-in clinic I went to and apparently I have strep throat. Is it normal to be getting this every two months for the past 2 years? And it’s kind of weird that every time I went to a different clinic they would swab my tonsils and never call me back… I just wish they’d put me out of misery and just cut the damn things off. I don’t like the feeling of being confined in my bed for more than the needed time to sleep. Unless it’s my day off and I’m just being a lazy piece and watching shows on my laptop all day. Other than that, if I can’t even seem to get up from bed from over fatigue, I ain’t havin’ it. I know it’s not what people usually wish for, but I’m hoping to get sick at least 5 more times in the next 10 months just to prove to the doctors that I am SOOO much better off without my tonsils… I looked it up and apparently it might help with snoring problems too. Which I’m known to have.

-xoxo CJ